PAPIO

Thomas Blau. Our welcome to the interview table here once again. This time at Nourish on March second two thousand eighteen at ten. Thirty five a. M. It's too early for pizza. So wear here, nurse. And to recap how I know you. I met you, like five years ago. When I start working, it shakes. You were working there at the time. We used to hang out a lot back then more when we're less encumbered. But now we're pretty fairly busy with our lives.

But I feel I kind of feel like every time we talk, we can pick back up where we left off and go right into some interesting stuff. So that's what I hope to do here. Thanks for joining me, Thomas. And testing things were having Ugo, Dude. So let's let's start out talking about floats. Pause was okay? Yeah. Absolutely. Okay. And I don't want to put you on the spot. Is a an official represent of clarity? Just I'm just curious about bullets.

Balls in general. Really? How long you've been doing this? So I helped open clarity. Flood spot. That was in November twenty sixteen. I just recently took up a managerial position. They're in August. Of this twenty eighteen, that's last year, so I don't know how many is. That is not what we're on in, like two and a half almost on them. But it's good. Something really cool about the flow industry is that there's a lot of independent float spaz like scattered across the country, and we all kind of like share information and, you know, come, borrow just share tips and practices with each other.

There's a whole like Facebook community of like flood spot owners and operators. That's a cool resource to have because you kind of, like, see what they're doing for marketing and copy it. And no one gets mad at you because that's just because they're not going to steal your customers. Owe. People are going to fly to New York to go No right. You know we're in Colombia, the only one in Colombia, so there's really not much competition here.

It's just kind of pick up whatever we can from whoever we can, and everyone's pretty. Pretty much everyone's happy to share. We've seen a lot of generous sharing of tips and suggestions from other. So if I understand floats balls correctly. Basically, you're in a room inside a tank that holds your whole body. It's filled with salt water. Very highly dense, concentrated salt water. You float on it. Are you naked?

You with lows so completely that I should give you the whole breakdown like afloat. What you do for floating there's a private room. There's a shower in the room. We shower before in Char afterwards. You do. I mean, at least you're encouraged to go in without clothes on so completely in the nude on that is just for comfort levels for one, because, you know, having fabric on your body would be a distraction for sure.

And also for cleanliness number two. Because typically bathing suits or not as clean as a body after a shower, we're not sure what other bodies water that suit has been into. But of course, if someone wants to wear a swimsuit, we're gonna, you know, they could do that. But yet so then, in the device. And there's been some conversation as to whether we call it a float tank or float device because people here a tank and they think of like something that fills with water.

All the way up or just like, you know, some sort of torture chamber we'll have you ever seen that movie? Altered states altered states in nineteen. Eighty. Now I haven't. You know what you've heard about people? Yeah, of course I've heard about. Well, the score is actually done. Was done by John Corey Angle. Oh, I don't know if I pronounce it right, And he's like a fine art composer in New York and is one of those rare films that were like a real company opposer that I didn't mean that in a facetious way.

But but like an art composer made ah, Hollywood film, you know, because most people, they go to Hollywood to make Hollywood films. But this guy, he's he's a teacher at the university you taught find modern fine art, music, all the crazy sounds and what not. And he composed the music for the film, and it's just totally off the wall you've heard about anyways. Yeah, now that we got that right, that's more like a tank idea.

He's up to his neck, and water is not how we do it. There's, like, ten or eleven inches of water, not even up to your knees and in that water is about a thousand pounds, too. Up to like eleven hundred pounds of Epsom salt dissolved, and they're a thousand pounds, a thousand pounds. So that's what makes you float on. That's what gives a lot of the therapeutic physical therapeutic value from all the Epsom salts.

So you get a huge magnesium and take into muscle sore muscles and joints and all that stuff. So a lot of pain relief they're on muscle recovery and stuff like that, but also the weightlessness factor. Because you are floating your whole body, Khun, release all attention and you just floating suspended in this salt water on DH takes all the pressure off your spine. All your joints, everything kind of just decompress and combined that with an environment where there is, you know, ideally, we aim for like zero light.

Of course, you have a light. You can turn it on and off at your own discretion, but we encourage we'll turn it off and there's no sound aside from your own breathing and heart rate. And if you splash in the water, you're going to hear that. But it's really like a sensory restricted environment. So your mind kind of runs its course through whatever you're thinking about that day, you know, typically happens for the first twenty, thirty minutes to the float.

You're just going to thinking and kind of getting through that stuff, but then at a certain point It's a magic happens and your magic, I don't know. It's kind of we're starting understand It's scented, please, So we can't call magic anymore. But essentially your body and mind. Like slow down. It's like a very deep relaxation. Brain starts producing data waves, which is basically like right before you go to sleep, right?

Is your waking up from sleep with this kind of, in between zone Twilight Zone, a sort of very deep relaxation but not always sleep yet? So that's, you know, very restorative state. To be in on the float tank is unique because your body can stay there for, like a good thirty or forty five minutes, even an hour during the float. As a poet, I mean, some people do fall asleep, and that's just fine to use to get all the benefits with the Epsom salt.

But you know, it's it's kind of a deep, meditative state as well. So there's, of course, you know there's psychological value to that therapeutic. You know there's mental benefits, physical benefits like spiritual and emotional benefits. Even depending on how you use the space, people fall asleep. Do they get waking up at some point by you guys like, Hey, you've been in there way too long. Yeah, we just walk in and knock wait place in music.

So in the last five minutes, there's a music that plays on a timer. So that's everybody's cute kind of wake up, hop out and use the shower, and the people ever go. Like I'm done with this, I can't do this anymore or something, or yeah, yeah, early. Plenty of times. Yeah, certainly. In a minority, you know that it may be like one in ten or even wanted twenty cases where someone like you can't do this get out on DH.

That is either for like physical pain reasons or like psychological reasons. So pain wise, if you have any open cuts or sores, that's typically the main thing, you know, that hurts a lot because all the salt, you know, even definitely can't stay in there, that we do have petroleum jelly to cover that stuff up. But if it's a major cut or you know a really reality is, people would like gastrointestinal distress, you know, began inflamed butthole.

So okay, so she it'll hurt when you get in their way. Had a few people get out for that reason and other just stinging burning. But even, like, well, if you like, have a weird cramp or like Nick thing that you threw your neck out or something, it can help. Or first, in some cases that you just kind of, like isolate the pain that kind of obsess on it. So some people get obsessed on it. Yeah, because there's nothing in there, but yeah.

Oh, my God, My neck. You know. So, um, that is one thing, and an even smaller minority of cases. There are people who just can't really tolerate or just do not enjoy the environment, the sensory restriction, so But that's part of the experience. So that brings me to my next question. Like what percentage of people go to afloat Spot because they want a different experience. And what deputy will put it on the calendar, like every every Saturday, the first Saturday of every month.

I'm going to go relax and float ball. You know, that's interesting. I'm gonna have to just guess for you give you like a general estimate. Sure. In general, I think most of our business still does come from first timers who were just interested in, like this novel experience, you know. But we're hoping and aiming, you know, a lot of practice where the goal is to educate people are bringing two people is a practice, a therapeutic practice more than just a novelty to try every now and again, you know, So we do have, you know, membership options, and we encourage people to, like, use it who are using it for, like, stress and pain relief to use it regularly.

You know, we make it very affordable to do often those, you know, maybe, like half it. Probably slightly under half of our bookings are people doing that. You know, of course, some people are once a month. Some people are like every week. It depends on the stress and pain levels in your life. But yeah, I'm not sure. You know, it's fluctuates for sure, but we do get a lot of first timers still. And I think a lot of people just like that is so far out were ho.

I wanna try it and then they're like, I check that off my list and I have to do that every day. You forget, like a weird group of, like, frappe frat guys or something that they're just in there like trolling. And, you know, I like they're all wasted out their minds that we would not We wouldn't look, Okay, Think they're wasted or otherwise inebriated or intoxicated or whatever, But, you know, I know.

We usually we attract a really respectful clan tell. I think we've had, like, we had. It's me, Ross, come in the ban. Those people have at least a lot of the band members came in. I think it's three of them. I remember how many, exactly, But it was too. And I wish I remember their names. Shadow. Just me, Ross. Like, uh, Spencer and our Mary out there it is Maria. There's Maria. Mary. L appreciate it, but, you know, they're great.

That was fantastic. But in general, knows his people coming in. Um, I'm on a date or just by themselves. Interesting on dates. So you're in there to do your by yourselves? There's no like it's your own travel pod is now is it's me time or, you know, All right, Whatever. But you get out, and then it's like you get to share your experiences with each other. Right? And, you know, it's like you just did something for yourself, for each other with each other.

You know, I never thought about that. A date idea. That's pretty. Yes. I mean, you have evening afterwards to talk, you know, get dinner afterwards talking. So is part of a date night's Not like, let's go float spotting. Go try expected brains and that talk. Yeah, right. That's interesting. But yeah, I was, and, you know, mother daughter, every family relationship you can imagine. We have families coming. It's a good time.

Yeah, it's how many rooms there are lit. We have four. So we can have groups of for a time at most groups of four at a time before dorsal boss, wait for device. Foot device. What's happened? Day two people come to these things, you know, have ours from ten a. M. And then floats all the way. Every even our down to eight PM in the evening. So Okay, you know, pretty much any time of day weekends or popular. Of course, I don't understand, though.

Like when you're laying down in the flat spot like I sleep on my side and You can't really do that. There is a right. Yeah, No, it's I've tried, and it doesn't go well, so, um, I guess what I'm trying to ask you, you can have it to adjust, You know, for sure it's Maybe it could help you learn to sleep back. But so the salt is in the water, or is there, like, dissolved? It dissolved completely. Yes. So, like, if you take a little a handful of water like it is not, it is not how the consistency of regular water.

It's always kind of slippery feeling of your slippery almost. But if you put it in a bowl or, like put your hands in and then walk away, your hands will quickly drought. And they'll be, like, white and salt all over them because so salty. But no, the water is there's no gritty feeling anything to it. It's fully dissolved. And so I imagine you must have to clean those things pretty good after every time.

Basically way filter the entire volume of the flow device three times, or at least between every floater. And ugh, it's all automated. Yeah. Yeah, well, I mean, technically, we manually run the filters on the cabins with pods and cabins. Populace more like the word pot I can use that were pot device or the float pod. I mean, yeah, two of our devices are pods wayward. Wait, we have the boarding load devices.

Four float tanks were going to call you. No way. Have to float pods. We come there. The brand of dream pod. Okay. Now, confused was there between a pod in a tank. The tank is just a choice of words, but a dream pod is a specific type of flow tankard float device. And then there's the pro float cabin, which are the other two We have to beach. Eso ones like, bigger than the cabins are bigger than the pods. Okay, so it's just something are nicer than others.

Yeah, I mean, we try not, you know, like, play favorites like that. But for real, the pods are better. I mean, one costs more. Imagine. Well, you know, believe it or not, the cabins cost more, actually. But the cabin's air good for like, bigger people. Taller people especially. Okay, so it just depends on the size and especially in space. And also for like the kind of there's a certain effect to being a device.

It's so like, it's bigger. So you can stretch out and, like, really not touch a wall for a considerable amount of times, you kind of get you feel like you're floating across the room, you know? But, yeah, the powers like you could stretch out and there's the wall. You know, you can't go too far. So that's that. Some people do prefer that effect. And on lee wannabe in the cabins, people listen to music, you know?

Rarely. Yeah, but some people do ask for that. And we provided, if they owe you actually provide for the male, like bringing their headphones. No, I mean you. I mean, if you have some water, perfect funds, you could Oh, probably your roof. OK, so you're your head is a little summer. Yeah. You're submerged like your ears or some march. And that salt. That's interesting. We have earplugs, for sure. Okay, I see.

But no. So we in the cabins, we can play like YouTube track. So some people, like, played binaural beats or like ocean wave sounds or whatever or even like Ted talks. Sometimes I listen to a Ted talk, and I'm like, I don't know about later. It was a house of relaxation. There's a there's a guy up there talking about like, deforestation is not affecting. It does burn a brown is it is a good light, sort of, you know, like a therapeutic Ted talk for, say, you know, sort through some things.

So that was nice. But in general, now, people. There's also the option of cabins, Bluetooth. And if you want, like one time I heard a late playing Michael Jackson or like, What do you do? I think you're missing the point. Alright, that's cool. Whatever you want to do, you know, You paid for the time in float tanks. So what do you think of Ted? Talks. Think they're great? What about Ted X? Is Texas just rip off?

Well, it's independent. Like, I think, Ted, I don't even know. But Ted is much harder to be on a Ted experience or Ted talk. Okay, next. Anyway, anyone can kind of organize the techs experience on Interesting. So, like, there are very few people who have been on the actual Ted. But, I mean, they're all informative and they're all great, I think. But I don't know. Like, do do you go down you tube? Uh, holes?

Not often. Not often. I don't even have WiFi in house anymore. So what is wrong with you? Nothing is I'm feeling great. No, no, it's cool. Lt's wonderful. I'm just so you know, it's funny because I don't have five gigs of data on my phone, so I can't really strange you two for too long. And that's all self imposed. Like you do that for a reason. Yeah. We like to keep the broadband. The waves keep his money waves out of the house that we can catch up and have a microwave or anything like that.

Yeah, I got some. Got some family. Was due that. Yeah. So you have a lot of books, or do. How do you explore your curiosity else, Wass? Well, I do work full time and place is in there. So I have that auction. I can always go. The library, Internet, five beauties and my phone has data. Yeah, you can quickly google anything still, but I really prefer books as my sort of delivery method for an information urine.

Any cool boats recently? Yeah, a couple. Let's see. What? Which ones I want to talk about. I'll tell you like the last books have been read. There's a price you have going on. I just finished a book about area fifty one. Uh oh. You mean the the point are the secret Airborne, Terry Air Force is a CIA originally but secret military base out in Nevada off the nuclear test site. But yeah, I learned a lot about that and about what it was used for fifty years ago.

At least What? They've unclad like, you know, since declassified since then. But so much in that book. I'm just going to give away the spoiler. The very end is crazy. Maybe a lot of people know about the Roswell crash, where a flying saucer landed in like New Mexico in the forties and you're freaking out. And I got those aliens. And, of course, I think it's like the Air Force or national. Somebody came to scoop him up front Area fifty one and to reverse engineer the craft, which was made by Stalin's engineers.

It was like hover technology hover and flight technology. What? The phone. Great. But even more fucked up. They thought there were aliens in there, and the conspiracy is there were aliens house aliens, right? But it wasn't. It was just like it's fucked up. And this is not for the faint of heart. But it was like mutated children that Stone had, like, engineered to, like make have giant heads and weirdly shaped eyes and shit make him look like aliens and teach him how to fly these craft.

Um Wait, This is This is in the book. Is it? This is a very, like the final kicker. Like after we learn about, like, supersonic planes and, like, espionage and all this crazy shit they did area for doing. Then they're like and even, like, variance like satellite warfare, like some crazy shit coming down the pipeline for, like, shooting down satellites and losing our telecommunications. But now, at the very end, Yeah, it turns out that Roswell was like humans that have been, like, engineered or like mutated by scientists by some of Stalin scientists.

What is really grotesque in terrible. But just like it was basically to freak out, like create mass hysteria that aliens had landed, right? Because they're supposed apparently. And this is, you know, I don't know, maybe take with a grain of salt. Right? But she didn't seem to do a lot of research, and she learned this from the sole remaining survivor of the five engineers from First light, The first engineers at Area fifty one who took the Roswell, huh?

I don't know what count flying discs, and they even took those humans because there's nowhere else to put him and, yeah, it was terrible, but basically, you know, human experiments in all that shit. It sounds like a good read it. Yeah, that was a long tangent, but it was simultaneous, like, fascinating and just, like, disgusting. You know, learning about all the nuclear testing we've done. How many hundreds, if not thought.

I'm sure it's thousands by now of nuclear detonations. We've done just a test, you know, let's melt down or reactor in the desert just to see what happens. You know, let's drop bombs on the Pacific islands just to see what happens with people on animals in the way just to see what happens. Um is really, really terrible. But it really brought the the history of our current, like, military, industrial, nuclear complex into perspective for me, so dense, heavy, but fascinating.

So that's one on the other end of things I'm bringing book called multi orgasmic man Thie multi orgasmic band man Man. Oh, just you know, I won't. We'll keep it PG now, I don't think we can rate this later, but I think it's worth talking about. Turns out, men can have multiple orgasms without ejaculating. It's incredible. I haven't done it yet, but goals, Mangold. You know, it's actually comes from a practice.

Joe is flushing so bad. No, I just No, no. If you were, like sexual kung fu, actually. Okay. But like that Stop. You know, look at that man. Basically, I have absolute faith in its ability to transform just about any man's sexual life and practices and use it as more than just like pleasure. But like a spiritually unit, even or like a spirit practice or like using it to heal yourself by like, circulating your she really life for sexual energy throughout your body.

And so just trying to fucking ejaculated out all the time, right? OK, is very fascinating. There's a lot in that book. Recommend that book for anyone who's even interested in and check it out apparently takes like three six months like practice. You know, before you can actually achieve multiple orgasms. So, you know, it's a little ways down. I tried and gave up, and I'm like, Come on, read this book again and trouble you as you're tryingto Yeah, let me know how goes.

Yeah, I'll tell you I'll be the first person they achieve that, But probably not anyway. There. That's one book I'm also reading. What else? Hear Iron John? A book Foreman About Men by Robert Bly. Interesting. So two out of the three books are Yeah, sort of slurring masculinity. What it means to be like a man. At least, you know, when were these books written? I'm understood. The previous one Multi grass man was in the nineteen ninety five leave.

This other one was also nineties. I'm not sure, because I wonder how much you know, in the past decade, it seems like, you know, Ginger has been reevaluated quite heavily. Yes. Oh, I wonder how much of it like the perspective of the book, but just based purely on its era? Yeah, like plate. How it effects. Yeah, that's going on conversation with Julia and I as I read these stuff because It's like, you know, there's a lot of empowerment going on for women and like discovery of women's self in spirituality and so many things involved in that, excuse me, but really, there has not been much going on for men at the same time, right?

Because people was that, Oh, well, men have all the rights already, right? But there's cultural, you know, oppression on both sides of the gender binary cat that basically rings book. I've kind of come to question Mohr and, of course, the question. War question Mohr. More ordinary sort assumptions of gender and what that does to psychology, Right? Because I like this. This book, in particular because it is a much more poetic and like folklore based take on it on, does acknowledge that you know every man and every woman has masculine and feminine traits in their psyche.

But then, even that is like, Why do we, you know, Yeah, I do. We are why we divide this into minutes almost an arbitrary like the articles of, like the German language. For instance, how some things or D, or how some things they're dead. It's just like it almost seems arbitrary at some point. Yes, certainly. I've noticed that as well. But nonetheless is, I think, worth exploring and sort of like just figuring out, like, what is the alternative to toxic masculinity without being like just version?

Like a soft version of men like hyper feminists would like to see you right. Like kind of nothing but compassion and forgiveness and gentleness and softness. What about that assertiveness? You know, what about ferocity and like, determination and grit. You know, they're like, like, you know, a fierce affirmation of, like, your ability to administrate truth in some form. Right, um, I think that is like a quote masculine energy, Right?

But then I see women inviting that as well. So I question whether or not we should even be calling a masculine and feminine anymore. But it's just worth. I don't know. I think it's worth exploring as a man in today's culture of toxic masculinity. Because you know what? I know just what our psychology is so much more than like, no cars and chicks and food is I don't know what it's like. Money. Drugs is the whole thing for a lot of men and, like, you're missing out on so much of the human experience and just looking to see, like, what is unique about a man's human experience, not just culturally but like spirituals.

Seriously, psychologically, um, what is say that that what is unique, Tony to a man's human experience experience. Right? But then it's like, this is we're talking specifically about cis gendered male. Basically, your it's like, how can we embrace masculinity without it being toxic? More? Listen, there's such a thing. Yeah, as without attacking authentic parts of masculinity, either. You know, like, if there is one I like, wrestle or, like, fight.

If you could do it in a I don't like it. A respectful like sport Lee away. I don't know, kind of like kickboxing. And there's so much talks shit in there. I don't know that I haven't thought about that. I don't know where that came from. Okay, But, yeah, just like looking at, you know, masculinity and new light, right? Like embracing aspects of, like So there's this book I just read before this Robert Blank piece and it was the is called King Warrior.

Magician lover is about the four young in archetypes of masculinity and that story or that book. They referenced a lot of kind of like mythical and biblical stories, which I didn't resonate so much with, because it's like, How does this apply to contemporary man? Fuck if I know. But it was interesting on the last to see, like, you know, traits of masculinity divide into these four archetypes, you know, which I saw is like, These are not just in man, these young women as well.

But, yeah, it was good, too, to read that stuff, you know, like so the King energy per, say's is not, like, authoritative or tyrannical. That's actually like, eh? You know, there's a draught into like this triangle, basically, like the top of the triangle. There's the fully embodied archetype in its fullness. Then at the bottom. On either end, there's the opposite, like the shadow poles of like If that archetype is not being embodied or it's out of balance, you know, this is just one way to look at it.

But like the King, there's like with tyrant on one shadow Poland in the weakling on the other. So basically the fully body king can bring peace and order to his realm. For saying right, like whatever. You're well, Miz, if your workplace, your home, your family, even your own internal, you know, landscape. But if you tyrant, right, like a tyrannical king is totally out of balance. And, like, commanding, controlling power hungry.

You know, I can't accept things that were beyond his control. It goes, I just kind of like to you'd see that a lot like the tyrant is pretty commonly expressed. I think in, uh, men who don't have their needs met and don't know how to talk about them in a healthy way. Then there's the weakling. You just can't, you know, express what they need or can't get what they need. Or can you do that is this is a very cursory And this government's go that I read the book, but, um, yeah, you know, that was interesting, right?

And like how to put, like, a positive name or like posit association with, like, a king, a king archetype, like everyone has this king energy within them. And that is what, like brings order and peace and harmony to your life and to the people in your like relationships with in your life. And also like blesses people like the king in like monarchical systems were like, bless his subjects, A good king, A righteous game would bless his subjects by seeing them in his whatever his castle, his palace, whatever.

On I thought that was interesting, too. Like, apply that to like contemporary, like psychology is like, Well, if you really saw somebody, like whenever you see someone for who they are, do you hear someone affirm them for their being on what they're saying and how they're expressing themselves in a number of ways. Like, if you're acknowledging someone on the lgbtq, you you know, in that community or in that sum sum, non binary identity.

If you're like, acknowledging that and respecting that, that's a way of, like, blessing them and bringing harmony into that relationship, right? And I see a lot of especially masculine, just like a lot of shit. A lot of shame on, you know, like dismissal of people who do not fit into like the system, they're binary rolls, you know? So just one the way that I kind of extrapolated went with a contemporary application of that.

But, yeah, that was another book was interesting, I think between the two barely into the Robert Bly book, but both are valuable. Resource is, I think I've come to appreciate actually how well rounded my masculinity has ended up to be, you know, compared to all the toxicity in some places around us. So I'm always interested in what kind of person reads books like that. And and why are they reading it?

Like I would say that, um, you know, you're the type of person that already have your the King that blesses people, you know? Yeah, sense. And you were always covered that by reading that book is like, do I have these tyrannical stretches, or am I or do I have, like, this weakling tendency to, like, not be able to express what I want or like demand right wanted, be unforgiving. I'm like, Well, I don't actually I really do embody that fully and body archetype, which is not to identify with the archetype.

That's very clearly, like articulated in the book that you shouldn't like. The ego should not claim to the archetype because then you're on some Holy is it not? A good stretch are not a good path to go down, right? Because you kind of take yourself too seriously. And he's like, you're just a humble human form here. But you're accessing archetypes. Collective unconscious, that Khun bring you into your best self, right, or help you express your best self.

Um, so, yeah, I was reading it largely because as the books both talk about, there is really nothing much left of rites of passage for men or for women, for that matter any more. There's not much left of like a rite of There's no rite of passage in our culture. Continue and American consumer culture. There's really nothing you no, like Boy Scouts maybe have are like Cub Scouts. Have some inkling of that, I don't know.

But, you know, I used to be that like boys were sent into the wilderness like by themselves, you know, write or like their heads were shaved, and they, like, you know, they're all source of indigenous traditions around, like the rite of passage. And we kind of lost all that. So now it's like you go through ways like high school will know because you get a high school on your toes. So independent kid, you know his college and you have kids get out of college.

That air still like being supported by their parents don't know howto make calls to people, you know, like make decisions, pay bills. There's so much. And that's like Is that even what it is to be an adult man? Are adult period so much more than that? And so, yeah, just it seems like a worthwhile area to explore for May to, like, figure out. All right, so it's been in my path here. How did I get to see the young man that I am and what have I left to do to like, you know, transit That makes sense.

Trans verse, that passage. And so you are looking for a rite of passage or not literally for one for sea, like seeking a some body of knowledge that can apply to my own life and seeing where, like what I went through that could be considered a right of passage and what allowed from my development to who I am today and maybe where their remains work to be done and how I could set myself up for that passage.

You know, that was like, is all growth oriented per share. You're always interesting growth, certainly. And I always feel like you're going. But the same time, I can't help but feel like sometimes, like when I see people reading books about parenting. And I know some people are just obsessed with reading books about parenting. And it's like, Dude, you guys have four kids. You're doing all right, you know?

And but are there isn't some good kids, And I think I think they're doing all right. You think they're raising some good kids? And I don't think that it's because of what they read on page two. Eighty three and such and such book, you know, that that totally changed. No, it's just like they would have been good parents anyways, you know, But I don't know, like that good parent may notice that there was something they were doing that they found in a book that was not actually helping their child.

And they may not have noticed that without reading that in a book somewhere first. No, no. Should I shouldn't say that I shouldn't act that way towards my child. Oh, are you? No. Better yet, I would like to stop doing that. I would like to do this Instead, you learn new, you know, parenting methods, techniques, your ways to communicate with a child. Yeah, I think that's so valuable. And I just speaks too, like a good parent is not, like, settled.

And, like, thinking they're ready, they think they're good and like, we're good, we got it. You know, it's like there's always something to learn if you if you can't believe that there's something for you to learn I feel like that's where you're really in trouble because then you're just asking for, like, calcification. You know, you're not going to learn to grow at all if you don't believe that there is any reason left to or anything to grow toward or grow into, I should say, because it's not going towards anything into things.

Yeah. So I commend any parent who is a good parent and yet continues to read parenting books to better improve their parenting. I guess. Yeah, it's putting more tools in the arsenal, giving them more options to make the parenting experience less stressful on everybody. I guess it's just funny because I observe these people and without saying names and stuff, but and, you know, when they get really worked up, they can't revert back to those things that they've always done in.

And then when they talk to you in private about a book that they read, it's like, Well, that's not what you do. I have to say, I've been around your kids and I've been around you, and that's not what you do it all, you know, that's where it's like. Are they using the book? Well, the fullest of our responses Are you using your books response responsible? I don't know, but I I should hope that you know, they can take what they're reading.

Toe hard integrated. That's the most important thing. Anything you reading, it's like worthless in was until you integrated or find some application in your own life, right? Yeah. It just takes time now. And it doesn't incorporate. Certainly. Yeah, that process. So, speaking of parents and kids and You don't even know what I'm going to say. No, but you kind of had a kind of had an experience being a parent on a bus driving from us.

Thanks to bring that up s o. I know I'm just eternally attracted to this. I will always think of you now just differently. Ever since you could have a six rubles to, you know. So here's the thing. It's funny. Is you told me that you drove a school bus for which school system? Well, I drove for laying middle school and Alfa Heart Elementary. So not easy schools to drive, I bet. Not mostly because their feathers or some young kids, some young, rowdy kids, but like when I was growing up, all the bus driver's were over the age of forty.

Yeah, and so, And I guess it's probably this still same still the same way over fifty. Now There, there. There you go. It's been Yeah, it's been ten or twenty years or their fifties sixties, But here's Thomas Flour, twenty two year olds, twenty two year old bus driver, like literally what most like young enough to be and is the age of most of these bus drivers, kids, and I'm on my way in. What? Why did you always in the middle schoolers?

That that there's something there's some really tall mills there are, you know, But I was very humbling and good man would have a rich life experience. But what? You just asked me. Sorry, people. What got you interested in the idea that you're going to drive school buses? I mean, I know it's it's probably just a job, and you need a job that's part of it. But like, why school Bus Driver? So me and Gillian got back from Costa Rica, and I had, like, a few hours a week, get clarity.

But no real work lined up, because at that point, this is last. Oh, you know, that's funny. It For a moment there I was, like I had a few hours a week working of clarity, and I'm like, I don't know what but really worked, like like, yeah, I have a work. Is this But now, so I, you know, painting and dishing over the summer. And then those jobs dried up when we left for Costa Rica, and that was wonderful.

But I got back. It was like, you know, I'm almost broke and the cash a sap. What can I do and, you know, clear didn't have the room for me, So I'm like, you know, Okay, I'm thinking about it, thinking about it. And I was like, you know, s t a s higher school bus driving. I was like, What? Now? You know, you have your CDL. Yeah. You have to get a CDO class B to drive. Okay, So did you have home before? I had to get one.

But I'll tell you that story. My mom planted that seed because your mom drives vehicles. Sometimes there's a part of the job, right? Yeah. The bookmobile. I thought Hell may She still does sometimes, but I believe lesson. She was two. She brought up the point that I would be a third generation CDL holder. That was kind of special because both my mom and my dad had CDL lt's My dad drove a school bus some years ago.

As a job to get, You know, you need quick money right now. And my mom, you know, drove the book deal and then her dad I drove the city bus are a city bus in Jefferson City, so is like that's interesting, you know? And I also just thought is like, what a novel experience that would be right is like you could learn surely so much. And there's so much potential for learning and growth and driving a school bus.

And like in my I'm closer to my school, my public school experience. And I am to the age of anymore. Are any my coworkers, right? Because they're all like school, some distant memory that happened in the sixties and seventies, right? I'm like, you know, school was just finished high school five years ago, right? And so now Luckily, I opted out of driving any high school because I just was not about to do that shit.

I wanted to have some sense of seniority on the kids I was driving I would have had on high schoolers, but they might not have respected like Miss Clovers would. Or I would have thought that they would. And they did to some extent, but yeah, So it really was like a job. And I was like, Okay, it starts at fourteen. And our fourteen. Thirty And And I was like, What the hell, man? Why not? You paid training.

They pay you to get your CDO. I'm like, that's also Yeah, it's great. So I was like, on a whim, shot, implicate an application online, and I was like, eight o'Clock in the evening. I'm like a Thursday night and Friday at like, eight. In the morning. I got an email and they're like, Hey, can we have an interview with you? That's like, when? About twenty minutes. Yeah. So I think it was, like that day or, like the next day, I'm wanted for any of you and they asked, You know, like, Why do you want to drive a school bus?

And I'm, like, definitely the youngest person in the building. Aside from the bus drivers, kids is hanging out. Uh, and I was like, you know, I kind of had this idea is this dream that's still kind of lingers, and I hope to maybe actualize someday, but of teaching mindfulness and like schools, teaching kids mindfulness as like a a sort of self regulation tool for like dealing with difficult emotions.

Deal with conflict knowing how just like, um, feel once it's like failure feelings and express them in a healthy, nonviolent way, and and experience you human experience more fully right, like get a real taste of it and savor. And you're saying all this in the interview, not in this detail. I told them how I had experience teaching mindfulness and how someday I'd like to be teaching mindfulness to kids.

And a school bus will be interesting, like foot in the door into that world where I could sort of incorporate somebody. Some mindfulness practice is into, like the school West Life. And that is like what and noble goal, right? How ambitious. But the lady was just smiling. Kind of like that's very, very nice of you and you know, what would you do? Other interview questions? Typical. Every questions. But I think I did pretty good job.

It was satisfactory, I think. And I don't think she'd ever heard anyone say that they wanted to bring mindfulness. Practice is onto the school bus, so I can Yeah, I'd put money on that. Yeah, Um, so that, you know, they were like, All right, well, you gotta pass a drug test, and it just so happened that I haven't smoked for my entire time in Costa Rica, so I was like, two months are a month and half clean, But, you know, it's fat soluble.

I'll have much fat on my body, so it was like, just drink a bunch of water. I got this and I passed, and so then it's all right. You start training. Go. You know, you got to do, like, there's this online, you take class for first. And when you have your permit from taking the class, you do a written test. Then you get to drive the bus for, like, two weeks. And then after you've driven the bus and you start driving the kids.

It was a month of training. Oh, you drive the bus by itself? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. You have to learn how to drive the bus. They take it to cause one like my turn corners, because that shit is like a long as Sophie long. But I'm curious shouldn't you? How do you know where to go? Because when I was growing up in the country, of course they're the bus drivers, knew all the kids, you know, they were friends with their parents.

They knew where everyone lived. You know, like, oh, such and such is on the bus and I got to go down, pay down or whatever, you know. Ah, this gravel road. And how do you I imagine it's not quite like that in the city. You have routes. You haven't mutscheller route. You take the same route every day. You get a look at it. This is your route. You'd drive that bus and you could have drowned. Lost points. Yeah. Drop.

So you don't drop on kids at their houses. You dropped off, I mean, or at their drop off point. But usually like, you know, I drove north side country kind of. Yeah. So it was, like, definitely a lot of highway sixty three up until, like Prather's ville area. You know, for our, they're pretty far out there. And so a lot of like underprivileged kids. Lot of trailer park kids, like more than half my bus was trailer park kids, and they all got on at once, And it is just now made him a suit, you know?

So luck bringing my influence, these kids. But I'll tell some stories about that in a minute. Yeah, Essentially, they give you a route description and tells you like, you know what turns to take what streets take, where to stop, what time we should be there. And like the whole route, like description of every stop, you make every turn, you making all that, but it's on a piece of paper. So you're like, you gotta learn this shit pretty quick.

If there's a monitor on your bus, it kind of helps that kind of other route. Especially when you're starting. There were out, you know, like a bus monitor. No, that's right. I forgot about that. Yes, that's an interesting thing, too, but, um in absolutely necessary in some cases. But in my case is a cz. Ah. Source of tension per se. That it was result. I'll tell that story again in a second. Okay. Uh, but yeah, you learn how to drive the thing in Cosmo Cosmo Park with the parking lots of shit like you learn how far you pull out before you start turning the wheel.

You know? And what you're sort of marker points are like whenever you pass this thing and you're passing on your door on the stairs, that's when you start turning the wheel. You know? And you like driving, like, Yeah, I enjoyed driving by your You're one of those people that can hyper focus on something or you get you a mouse and keyboard and any game in front of you, you're going to be, like, all in And or if you get a a steering will get a shifter.

It's like you are every single little detail, like you're nine film this man. Really your concentrate. You concentrate currently so sort of practice. Yeah. Not necessarily easily. Fluctuates was energy levels, blood, sugar levels, everything. Levels are right on the button in general. Yeah. I have a pretty good time. Are relatively easy time focusing for extended periods, especially driving cause it's engaged.

You've got to be focused, right? So I was like, this could be fun. Interesting challenge s o. Tell me those stories. Yeah, let's see. So first of all, I'm just going to acknowledge shoutout to bus drivers. That shit's crazy. You're literally driving a seventy seven passenger school bus is big as metal, too. Um and luckily, their automatic. Now, such is easy. Anybody could do it. But you're also like listening to the radio, which, like the two way radio, which is the whole bus fleet, basically.

And they may call you out. You may need to call him out. And you gotta, like, learn how to navigate that shit while you driving, looking at traffic and watching all the kids in the mirror making sure they're being good for at least like sitting down. That's a lot of shit to navigate at once, huh? So just holy shit. But it was, you know, as stressful as it wasn't. So I had, like, look back with nothing but fun memories.

So they're even like the worst days. But for my influence practices, you know, you really can't do much. I've quickly discovered I was driving, you know, laying an Alfa Heart and these air, like some of the most difficult to manage kids in CPS. Like really like There was a monitor on the bus when I got it for a reason. You know, because they're like choking each other and climate over seats and like throwing backpacks, right and like bouncing up and down and jumping and like to screen all sorts of crazy shit.

You know, throwing apples and shoes on these air like little is, you know, it's like, Wow, man, who's it? But to them like the bus is no longer school. You know, you're done with school days behind you. And so you can't really, like, try and teach him something new on a bus you always drove in the afternoons or the morning's animals. So the mornings were definitely easier in general, but not always the kids who come on the bus with, like, a blue tongue, like for rolled in shit, hanging out their mouth.

Or like Mountain Dew for breakfast, you know, and like was already wired already. Wired wouldn't even sit down in there. Seat, you know, wouldn't put the seat belt on. Little kids are some need seatbelts because they would like climbing season Shit. So you have to do that like, when one kid gets on the bus. You have to go back there and make sure it goes. Yeah, yeah. The little guy's there. The kindergartners?

Yeah. Someone especially like the ones who, like, will not stay. You know, like they're going to be climbing overseas. I don't remember there being seatbelts on, but I don't know, It's just like the first cedar, too, you know? And it's like a harness for the little. Ok, OK, Yeah, right. What they felt keep not meant. You had to be on them all the time, telling twenty times in around to put that shit back on.

But anyway, yeah, let's see mindfulness on the bus. It never got to the point of really teaching mindfulness, but my highlight and what I'm most proud of. Um, there's a lot of things I'm proud of myself for doing on that bus foot one. The number one thing that I think really means the most to me in that whole experience. I brought gratitude practices onto the bus, and I they only did it like three times before.

They just basically told me f you as they walked out with close without saying shit, really. But they did, and it was so precious to, like, See, these kids, like, contemplate on gratitude. So thie question one, waking up. So they walked off the bus, and as they were leaving the bus, they turned to you and said, F you and and that's gratitude. Pregnant. Okay, think I missed something? I was kind of jumbled bunch of words there.

Basically, I gratitude practice I brought them was I got on the intercom and it's so cool having intercom because that's the only way you have any element of control over these kids. But I was like, All right, I want you think today, but something you're grateful for in your life, and I was like, who knows with gratitude is who knows what it means to be grateful, You know? And in the back of the older kids, most of knew some of the young kids didn't know that work.

You know, some of them did, and it was just so sweet. To hear them say, like it means to be thankful means something. You're happy for you. It's still like that. But I got to kind of explain and kind of express to these kids. What, Greta's it wass. And then I was like And now I want you to think, But something in your life, it could be a person. It could be an experience. It could be a toy or whatever you have that you're grateful for.

And I want you to tell me what that is. You get on the bus. And that was that, Like the assignment, right? Okay. And it was so special because that first time I did it, man, like, I wouldn't let him off. I was like, No. Where you going? You got to stop. Tell what you great before and allowing were like my mom, my dad, my dog, my sister, you know, And that was great is like, hey, there, finding gratitude for their family.

That's that matters, you know, But some of them really, like, sat and they're like, they forgot even said that. And I like, wait, stop what you're doing before. And they're like, uh and I thought, you know, and sometimes they're like Harry Potter, you know, it was just a lot of little things, you know, and their video games and whatever else and one of me and said you, Yeah, they said they're great for me.

And I was like, Oh, you stop it. But that was really sweet, you know? So it went really well that first time everyone get off the bus, shared something they're grateful for. And I was just like, man, I just made this world a better place. And I was encouraging, like, life's going to be tough. You're gonna have difficult emotions because they have every fucking day on the bus already. And I'm like, sometimes you need to just stop and breathe and, like, try and remember there are still things in your life to be grateful for, right?

I think that message was definitely lost among these most of these kids that they didn't really quite hear that. But probably the first time they'd ever heard it, You know, from any adult figure in their life, right? I heard stories like kids being encouraged to fight by their parents, you know, or just being allowed It just really despicable stories and shit. And sad, sad stories, man. I mean, they were all very poor trailer park.

You hear them? From who? The guy is up front. The youngest ones are the ones I would talk to because they're like the latte. Two seats right behind me. Right. I'll be, like, you know, Hey, one kid, get on, uh, stomach's hurting like a man with what was the matter? And I'm not going to say his name, but he said his stomach hurt like, Well, what's going on? You hungry? He's like, Yeah, I'm hungry. Sounds like we got something home, you guys, I'm snack to eat, and he's like, Oh, like he wasn't even sure if you had food to you at home.

I was like, Well, what what might you have? Like? What's your favorite snack at home? And he thought for a good minute, and then he said, Boy like bread, like a piece of wonder bread. That was a snack. And I'm just thinking, that is well refined. Glyphosate id wheat with sugar and, like, re enriched, was our, you know, laboratory minerals and shit. I'm just I couldn't believe it. Like there is literally nothing in that that is nutritious.

There's nothing in that that allows his body that I actually growing, and he's like, eaten fruit roll ups and shit and like candy for breakfast, you know, happy meals just like wow, this's their life, you know? So that was really sobering for me. I still think about that to this day and one that, like three of the sisters on this bus. They had, like seven kids sleeping in one room in this trailer, you know, like two families list to get a trailer in a trailer, heads in one trailer in one room.

And one room thing there is the boy's room were like through, for it is like what? That I can't. That kind of poverty exists in Colombia, you know? So that was really to see. But anyway, yeah, didn't, as for my influence, didn't get much further than gratitude the second time, I, uh, encourage them to do it. There is less interest. They're like why we're doing this again, right? You know, by the third time, they would need to talk to the shoulder.

You know it. Well, it was a good experience. It was. It was. Yeah. I was glad to do that. And occasionally, you know, they had assignments in school where they were, like, assigned to write something. Like I got a couple little paper stars with Mr Thomas for thanks for getting me home safe and shit like that is really really, you know, but no, in general, it was a lot of yelling at him and tell him to sit down.

Be quiet. I can't hear the radio. This is dangerous. You need to sit down. Please sit down. Right in. Bus tickets. I wrote on average, like a bus ticket per route per day. I wrote at least one. You stop everything. You get out right afterwards. Okay, So I'll be done with the round, right? Like, out three bus tickets. You know, the next days they already got I had kids suspended from the bus. There was a sexual harassment case on the bus with elementary school kids.

She's, like, unreal. You know, this kind of shit? The bus monitor I was assigned, it was like just her method of monitoring was sitting on her ass, which is ridiculous. First of all, the S t x who requires bus minors to be like sitting there to stay, saying they can't stand up. Like, how do you have any element of authority on a bus if you can't stand up over kid? Thank you. That's ridiculous. I can't stand up is because some bus monitor fell whenever the bus stop, they have to have, like, a microphone where they they literally just back there sitting with the kids.

And that was okay. Well, they're impairing the back there in the back. Yeah, Okay. Okay. With this money helps. I mean, she would, like, bring her sweet tea and McDonald's on the bus like there's a rule no food and drinks on the bus. Like every time I drive this thing, I couldn't believe it, you know? So in general, like she was like a kind hearted woman, you know, like bless your heart, right? She was also very young, and it's just sad man, like, really tragic.

Her story, you know, like, has children and multiple miscarriages and was single mom and it out with, like, a bus monitor salary. It's just like, wow, tough life, man. Like when the match is, That was the whole cultural experience in itself. To hear about her life on, have compassion for that. But eventually we worked out that I really couldn't have her on the bus because I'd be saying one thing and she'd be saying another to the kid and she's making threats, like threatening bus tickets or whatever, you know, just in ways that were like I felt like she dropped to a level of maturity, that just to like, meet them where they were at and like, kind of intimidate them into being good.

And it's like, Yeah, you can't There's no option because you're driving a bus. You got there, right? We need to sit down. But in the end, within a few weeks or months, I eventually just got her off the bus. And I write, So which is a whole crazy element, driving like fifty screaming children Alright, by yourself from out fart. Holy hell. But it was great. Well, that's interesting that you say that like you weren't on the same page because that's all parenting is is Ah, and I If I hear one thing from friends and family members who are parents, it's that not being on the same page makes a terrible experience because, yeah, if I hear to a couple arguing, it's usually about when we discipline such and such, like what you follow through with it.

And if you're going to say something like, you're going to have to, you know, get down from the table and go to your room like actually follow through with that don't just make the threat and not follow through. Or some whatever. The technique is right, it's you know, if there's inconsistency or disagreement amongst the parenting choices, it's just causes stress on a relationship hard core. Imagine that with, you know, a bus monitor in the back of the bus, Who I can't hear right.

Let's see what's going on back there. I tell a kid to move or get out of that seat. She just told me to get into that state. You know, shit like that is just awful. So I was anyway. Thanks. Thanks for sharing. You know, if anyone wants to try driving a school bus, how they recommend the experience, right? It'll really show you some things in the world that you haven't seen before. S t needs your help for sure.

They're always hiring. You know, I got a thousand bucks for a month of training. Was all right. Maybe it was more than I remember. But, you know, I'm super glad to do that. Okay, So let's, uh, let's do a few more questions here. Uh, we focus mainly on, um what's been going on your world the past couple years for the first half here or for the first, the majority of the environment. Let's let's ah, wrap it up with some more broad questions.

So, um tell me a time when you recently embarrass yourself, huh? A time that I recently embarrassed myself anything. Actually losing Get embarrassed because I'm starting to think about it. And I'm like Tom's idea. Thomas does not get embarrassed. He's totally open and accepting of everything. Because I tell you, the most recent time I was embarrassed. I remember it was actually just a couple weeks ago. I was in Florida visiting my, you know, that I was just visiting Florida, and my dad had a wedding down there.

So good reason to be there, but I went to dinner with my grandmother and her husband. So I guess he called my step Grandpa Grandma on K p shot up to grand, and maybe I don't think they'll hear this, but that interesting. Anyway, my grandmother being the seventy something year old, English born white lady she is has some prejudice, believe it or not, on DH English born as in born in England. Yes, OK, my family is mostly English.

So she was born in England. My dad's morning. They moved here when he was, like, three. But, um, she You know, it just got a little weird because she found out Gillian was Jewish. And you're like from a Jewish family. They're very reformed, non practicing Jews, you know on. She was like, Oh, my God, Is your family OK? That Tom's chan time a za joke fight in all seriousness, you know, and she's like, Oh, you must be so smart, you know, because you do it.

And then she started talking about how she has one percent, two percent African and her. But I'm like, this is a full blown, like, one hundred percent Englishwoman. Pasty is a mother, you know, like, there's no way. Yes, we all came from Africa. That's the motherland. But that is not two percent. You can't say that for generations back. You had some African blood I made, and even if you can't, maybe so. But, uh, that you can say that let me clarify.

The issue I had was she started saying like, that's why I have these curly hair, you know, And I wish she said, Julian, like, I wish it was because I was part Jewish, but some part African, you know, shit like. And I was like, Oh, my dear God, you know, like you got it is Julian is Jillian's like, yes, getting uncomfortable by all this for sure. Is I okay, lady calm down. But the part that really embarrassed me was on the walk away from the dinner she was talking about carrying on Continue this.

I don't remember the exact dialog, but she was carrying on with this. Still, And I was like, that is you just straight up being prejudiced, Grandma Like you sharing your precious. She's not. And she's like, I'm not paying prejudice and, baby, you know, shots in the back. You're talking about Jews and black people, and theirs is, like, literally were in a predominantly white beach area, you know, out and out of state peace.

And there's one black dude working in this yard like, twenty feet away. And I just saw his whole body shoot up into, like, discomfort, you know? And I was just, like, on my body to the same thing is that was the moment of embarrassment. So wow, I'm related to this woman who's just being blatantly prejudice and shouting out Just just exclaiming it. Well, you know, it's funny because you telling me that?

Yeah. You know, I'm from the country. I certainly feel that way sometimes when I go back home. Although I love those people, um I think in a way, almost sounds like she was just trying to relate and trying Tio, she just it was obvious that she hasn't really talkto many Jewish people before or been around. That's the thing. And that's, you know, talk to me. Yeah, I talked to ruin, and he was sharing that.

Yeah, it's like, you know, you can have compassion because that means, Look, she literally didn't have any human relationships in our lives with any Jewish People are people of color like so few, at least that it's just like those first name. Those curious are weird, a little awkward things that to say, like she never had a chance to, like, say, those out loud in front of someone that was Jewish. Probably.

So it's like she just had to get that out of our system. And if you were issued a person in their friend group that was Jewish, I'm sure be completely normal. But she just just because where she's from, or how she grew up or whatever, you know, it's just situational like she just had never been in that. Yeah, so situation wasn't a little personal embarrassment for sure, but I was embarrassed. No, no, no.

I want a party, and I would be so. Yeah, you I know that's. Yeah. Even trying to think about bringing someone in my family. That is not someone that was born. Uh, you know, from white Christian Germany one hundred fifty years ago migrates Special Reserve. You know, it makes me think of like, a god. Uh, I was with meeting some of those extended family members here, but it's just that's just part of it. I mean, those air just at the other day.

Yeah, it'll work out. So two more questions. Where do you fall on the spectrum currently of living in the moment and then being exciting, being excited for the future? Mmm. Come on, man. This is your type of question. I know, right? Oh, no. Well, you know, currently, I have been thinking quite a bit about my future with, like, moving plans with I am wedding plans and vehicle plant, like, you know what I'm gonna do for a vehicle and when we leave and how they just kind of yeah, projecting a lot of my energy into planning are anticipating future, Especially like this career change coming or like job change.

And we talked a little bit about before, but your plans have now are two. Uh, yeah. I'm looking to start an electrical apprenticeship with local chapter of I've you International brotherhood of electrical workers. But, yeah, that's a different conversation, but, yeah, a lot of four thinking for that stuff for sure. And I think it has admittedly taken me out of some of my just day to day moments. You know, I'll be eating a bull oatmeal and, like, totally thinking about whether I'm going to get a bank loan or save up enough money to buy a car.

You know, in, like, six months, and it's like, Where is the oatmeal? You know, half the shit's gone. I'm thinking about a car. So that is that's an ongoing reality. But, um, yeah, I still make time for every day, you know, So, like, slow down and be here. Be here now for sure. I think that answers the question that I think I'm leaning more toward future mindedness right now than present mindedness compared to the past fears.

Maybe. I don't know, I it's always it's like you can even plan for the future with the present mine. I don't know. You just can't get lost in it. So, yeah, I think it's a little more in the future that I would like to be right now. But I am taking steps continually to, like, you know, drop into the moment, take today for what it's worth and appreciate the blessings of the day. Cool on. Overwhelming response.

That's all you got. It's the last question. If a crystal ball, I could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else. Anything else? What would you want to know? Okay. You know, like a vision. Like you could see a visual. Sure, I would like to see. My people like my bloodline in their daily life five hundred to a thousand years ago. Really? And why I say that? I don't know. You know, I like the uncertainty of the future.

Kind of I revel in that. You know, that's kind of a special thing. The mystery. The uncertainty is like part of the human experience I would not want to lose, but the past and, like history fascinates me, and I really have very little contact with my genetic lineage. You know, like, I have two generations up. I got my dad's parents. I knew my mom's parents. That's it, you know, Especially interested in like what?

Middle ages? Europe. I was like, you know, it's like, that's what my blood is, you know, that's where I came from, and it would just be so fascinating to see, like, you know, water like the Blowers, because they were blowers in England of lab Lower Now blowers, an Americanized pronunciation. And they were blowers because they kept fires going for blacksmiths. And like forcing shit, Dave Orleans, they worked like the billows that was like my family name, huh?

On my dad's side. So I would love to see, like, really see what that looked like like just that crude day to day reality of like your bread and butter and you're like fifteenth century England that she would be crazy to be so fascinating. And even if, like the Crystal Ball, could show me like centuries of progression of my lineage. That would be amazing, you know, And I'm sure there's so much terrible, you know, terrible tragedy along the way, because that's what human it seems like human existence is marked by tragedy and recovery.

Um, certainly throughout, like the even, like maybe preindustrial. Maybe we're like peasants, and she was all good. You know, I would love to just see, I'd love to know so I could have more of a feeling of soulful connection to my ancestors because right now I just have to lean into, like, a collective, like, have one human family kind of ancestry. You know, I can't really take with any seriousness, my, like my genetic lineages, my ancestors, which I think is good in general.

But you'd just be so interesting because, yeah, that just fascinates me. I'm into history and to see that where my people come from, that would be interesting, especially middle age Europe. There's a lot going on. There's a lot going on there. But it's also interesting from a perspective, and you said You like the future to be mysterious. But what's so mysterious about the past is that we can never return to it.

And in a way, on a theoretical level, if you were to travel close to the speed of light, you could theoretically, like, go into the future as And you could just skip time or less, I think, because they are going into the future every day. Well, I just went on a theoretical basis, like, theoretically, time travel is possible. If you could go at the speed of light, which, of course, is a human being. Travel traveling at the speed of light is never gonna happen.

Most likely. But if that you could theoretically do that. But you could never even on a theoretical level, I think theorem aliens of the past. And so that's why it's so I think they're interesting. There's a theory for that. I'm sure there is. Oh, sure. Oh, there's some. Yeah. You know what? Sometimes let some multidimensional thing. Um, but yeah, I don't know. Like the pass is already over and features not here yet, right?

The future. He's never going to be here like we are in the future already. And the future. When we're in the future, it will be now still write the past is unique because it's like that shit's already happened. That's really fascinating. To see shit like that literally happened already happened and have money. Like, how did that happening Like that? One day, this English guy, you know, dropped his bread. I got so mad is a made up story.

Okay, I dropped his bread and some tar. So? So he had to leave because he's angry. He went outside, went to the tavern. And that night I met loves life that he then had children. With that I was in the range up like this is totally made up. But house like every little thing and just a cat. Most important, like the day today, Man, I was in one. I was breakfast, like to a fifteenth century Englishmen, right?

Especially the working class. Poor, because that's like the genetic lineage I came from. I'm pretty sure it was bread and butter. Like that was it was called bread and butter for a reason. Because that was like your daily bread was what you ate that day. And you got some butter on there, so Everybody was probably, like, all stunted and shit and, like, had nutrient deficiencies. I can't imagine, like I want to see what those humans looked for.

Mistreating that good sour dough bread with that. All those? Yeah, I think everything was Sarah dough back. Pretty sure. What's that? Everything. Like, I think like everything was sour dough, right? I think so. Unless it was unloving. There's something you maybe. Anyway, that's my that's my best. And I like that. And you mentioned the passes. Are it happened? And, uh, I'm glad this interview happened. Tom. Hey, Thanks.

And thanks for joining me.